alright,
ok, so here's what i think
maybe you can use more layers (a couple of recordings saying the same thing but in a different keys, or the same depending on the effect your looking for) at different parts of the song, especially when you hold out words and notes
sometimes your notes in your voice are a little off, but that takes practice, so you don't have to rush that
other than that, its a good song, you should try and use a p-popper, it helps reduce the static sound, and its got good lyrics
keep singing man, sing your heart out, and i hope to see more soon
:)